Are You Focusing on What You're Doing Wrong as a Parent?

September 29, 2026

Parenting isn’t about getting everything right. It’s about being willing to learn, grow, repair, and stay connected.


As a parent, how often do you stop and think about what you’re doing right?

When your child is struggling, pulling away, making choices you don’t agree with, or when you have a difficult interaction, is your first thought:

“Where did I go wrong?”

It’s natural. We love our children, so when things aren’t going well, we often turn inward and start looking for what we should have done differently.

But your child’s struggles aren’t automatically evidence that you’ve failed as a parent.

Parenting isn’t about getting everything right. It’s about being willing to learn, grow, repair, and stay connected.


Try asking a different question.

Instead of only looking for what needs to change, take a few minutes each morning or evening to notice what is already good.

Ask yourself:

What or whom do I love about my family life right now?

What do I appreciate about my child?

What am I doing well as a parent?

Maybe you’re listening more. Maybe you’re learning to set healthier boundaries. Maybe you’re giving your child more independence. Maybe you apologized when you got it wrong.

Those things matter.



Appreciation doesn’t mean ignoring the hard stuff. It gives you a place to stand while you work through it.

As a transformational parent coach, I believe stronger family relationships begin with becoming more aware—not more critical—of how we show up as parents.

You don't have to become a perfect parent.

You can become a more connected, intentional, and confident one.

Ready to strengthen your relationship with your child?

If you’re struggling to communicate with your child, feeling disconnected, or simply want to become a more intentional parent, parent coaching can help you understand what’s happening beneath the surface and create meaningful change in your family relationships.

Let’s start with where you are—and build from there.



By Lisa Friend • October 28, 2026
Maybe your child isn't trying to give you a hard time- they're trying to tell you something. Your child screams. Slams a door. Shuts down. Says, “Forget it!” Or insists, “You never listen to me!” Your first reaction might be to correct the behavior. “Don’t talk to me like that.” “Stop slamming doors.” “Calm down.” And yes, boundaries matter. But before we focus on the behavior, it may be worth asking: What is your child trying to communicate? Sometimes big behavior is a sign that a child feels unheard, misunderstood, frustrated, or disconnected. That doesn't mean screaming or slamming doors is okay. It means there may be something underneath the behavior worth understanding. How good are your listening skills? Real listening is more than hearing the words your child is saying. Active listening means giving your child your attention, putting down the phone, resisting the urge to immediately solve the problem, and showing them that what they're saying matters. Reflective listening takes it one step further. Instead of jumping in with advice, try reflecting back what you hear: “It sounds like you felt like I wasn't listening.” “You're really frustrated that I made that decision.” “You wanted me to understand your side before I responded.” You don't have to agree with everything your child says.  Listening isn't agreeing. It's letting your child know, “I want to understand you.” And when a child feels heard, they are often much more open to hearing you. That is the heart of transformational parenting: not simply changing your child's behavior, but becoming more aware of how you show up in the relationship.
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